Sunday, 24 January 2016

2015 and Realizations

I know it's already been three weeks since 2016 started but it's better late than sorry, right? I used to have New Year's resolutions every year and  I always believe that we always need to move forward. But I realized sometimes I forgot to reflect things from the past year.  2015 has flown so fast and it feels like everything happened in a blink of an eye. I wish I was able to document everything in writing but I no longer write in my journal. I was able to take some snaps in my instagram  and I have loads of photos stored in my laptop taken from last year but I know it isn't enough.

2015 has been a challenging year. I've met a lot of people and though I made new friends, I also lost some along the way. I used to fear losing friends but as I grew older I realized that weeding 'friends' is ok rather  than keep them (and  let them stab you behind your back). It hurts that those people I considered my 'friends' are just there lurking and waiting in the shadows. I was loyal to a fault and I trust easily  but I wish I was quick enough to realize who are real and for keeps. I am glad I still have few ones who will stick 'til the very end. Sometimes I think that it's better to have a small circle of real friends. I've learned but that doesn't mean that I am totally closing my door to other people. After all the world is created to make friends. I just need to be more careful. Choosing the right people to trust is the hardest lesson I've learned from 2015.

I used to depend my happiness on someone and when he left I was totally distraught. I wasn't totally ready and I thought that everything's okay until I realized that I'm crying myself at night for days.  I became depressed. It's a pity and I'm being too selfish. I was totally lost but then I have my friends who helped me get through all of these insecurities. It makes me understand that happiness relies on yourself AND your choices and not on other people.  Be your own person and don't let other people's opinions define you. I hope this one goes the same with other people especially that we currently live in a world of social media. And social media if not used with caution, is a total poison (wow, that rhymes!).

Sometimes, we won't be able to realize the importance of a person or a situation unless we were able to lose that someone. New Year's Eve and Holy Week family reunions used to be my favorite time of the year.  But I began to detest attending a few years ago. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and I always respect them. But sometimes they ask a LOT of questions. I know it's normal for them to ask but comparing me to my cousins and classmates who are already married WITH kids is not ok. It's kinda upsetting. So I started making excuses why I can't attend. My extended family is big so they won't notice my absence. But last year, my father's eldest brother passed away. It made me realize that we need to spend more time with our loved ones while they are still alive and not wait for a funeral for a family reunion. It made me more appreciative of the efforts that my parents do for me and my brothers when we were at home. But of course we still can't avoid nosy relatives. I just need to keep in mind that the reason they ask is because they want to know more about me (hopefully) or they want to engage in a conversation. Just be MORE patient and don't forget that we still need to respect them no matter what. Family is still family.

I know there are still a lot of things to learn and the best lessons in life are taught  based on our own experiences. This 2016, I will try to avoid the negativity and I will focus on the things that make me happy. I will be more understanding and patient especially to my friends and family. I am forever thankful that I have them in my life. They are always there for me and I will do the same for them. As for my "eat healthy" NY resolution (which is always a failure since I can't give up chocolates and cake), I won't be hard on myself this year. Chocolates make me happy so I won't give it up. But in exchange I'll eat more fruits and veggies and lessen my soda intake. I will consider 2016 as a new beginning. A clean slate of my life and I am hoping that I'll be more adventurous this year.

Cheers to 2016 and more chocolates please! =)

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