Thursday, 3 December 2015

Things I've Learned From My Previous Relationship

It was my last year in high school, weeks before my graduation to be precise, when I had my first boyfriend.  I thought everything is perfect but I woke up one day and realized that I am no longer that dreamy-eyed high school girl who fell in love with her crush. Yes, it was me. I was the b*tch of that relationship. I have outgrown my boyfriend. I was young and it's all puppy love but I've learned a lot from that experience. I rarely talk about it since it is a very sensitive subject for me. Well let's just say that the topic is quite personal. It's like opening up an old wound or scar... Don't get me wrong. I've already moved on, sooner than I've expected. But given the chance to look back and turn back time, here are things I would advise to my younger self regarding relationship matters. I decided to divide it into three parts: Before, During, and After (the relationship).
Don't hurry yourself. If your friends are getting into relationships and you're not, it doesn't mean that you are not "IN" and you need to have a boyfriend/girlfriend as well. Savor every moment of your 'singleness' . Don't be afraid that you'll get teased just because you don't have a boyfriend yet. I know it's peer pressure but they are not the one who will be handling your life. You have to ask yourself whether you're ready or not. Because that time, I know I'm not ready yet and I just want to prove to my friends that I can have him as my boyfriend. So immature. You're young but don't waste your time proving yourself to other people. Loosen up! 

I've said a million times over that communication is  one of the key if you want to make your relationship work. You need to tell your boyfriend/girlfriend if something's going on. There might be some misunderstandings but you NEED to voice out your opinion and what's on your mind. He or she might disagree or worse get angry but it's better than keeping it to yourself. Keeping your silence isn't good. It'll pile up until you realize that it's beginning to suffocate you. It's unhealthy. Have the guts and be firm to tell  your boyfriend that he needs to talk to you first before he tell on you. You will lose the respect you have to your boyfriend as well as the one you have for yourself  if you let him let other people meddle with your relationship and let them captain the boat. It's not bad if both of you seek advice from other people but letting them control you, is totally NOT OK.   

Breathe. Getting out of relationship is hard. Most specially if it's a long one. You have to think that life needs to go on. No need to look back and regret that you have broken up with him. Never regret leaving a situation that no longer makes you happy. Yes, I know that your mind was all blur during the first months but you need to think  of the reason why you got yourself out of that relationship. Go out and make up with your friends and enjoy your life. It's not all "How-will-I-survive-without-him?" Soon, you'll realize that life has a lot of things to offer. You will meet new people and you will cherish them.

I'm not a pro when it comes to relationship thingy, I just based all my advice to my younger self  on what I've experienced. I am not bad-mouthing my ex or anything like that. I am not playing the blame game. Both of us have our own shortcomings and we were both young when it all happened. I never regret meeting him. It's all part of the experience. I've learned my lesson and I've made sure not to make the same mistakes again.

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